Throw open the bathroom door and hastily announce to your husband your water broke!
Call the midwife at 3:15am, because everyone loves a wake up call that early.
Take a shower. Notice a contraction and more leakage running down your leg. Contemplate which is worse: amniotic fluid running down your leg and all over the floor or copious amount of blood from attempting to shave at 35 weeks pregnant.
Call the in-laws.
Be thankful you still have pads on hand.
Fish out the hospital socks you wore when your son was born. That’s good luck, right?
Finish packing your bag.
Freak out over the fact that today your son has play class and how are you going to make the call he won’t be there because you’re obviously on your way to having a baby?
Have husband shovel the driveway and brush off the truck.
Start crying because the day before was such a horrible day between you and your son. What if something horrible happens to me? Or him?
Finish packing son’s suitcase. Accidentally wake son up at 4am. Tell him the baby is coming and Granma and Granddaddy are going to look after him.
Make sure you have water. Want to cry when you see your husband has also prepared a water bottle to take with you and is insisting on bringing snacks.
Eat a banana.
Email parents to let them know they will be grandparents again within 24 hours.
Move the meat you have in the fridge to the freezer. Who knows if you will use it by the Sell By date now.
Get real smug with your husband and point out that doubling meals for the last week so you could start a freezer stash of meals was a good idea. Now we have chili to eat when we don’t want to make something.
Walk up an icy hill to the emergency room.
Fill out a form. Get wheeled up to Labor and Delivery.
Fill out another form. Get wheeled to a triage room.
Get hooked up to the fetal monitor. Get asked questions and be thankful you aren’t in active labor otherwise you’d be pretty annoyed.
Get tested for amniotic leakage. It’s negative.
Speak with a doctor. Get upset when you’re told you won’t see your midwife unless it’s determined you have to be admitted.
Get Lady Area opened with a speculum and get tested for amniotic fluid leakage again. Get upset when doctor realizes he didn’t have the slide for the ferning test and leaves you open for the world to see for what seemed like forever before deciding you don’t need to be exposed like that.
Doctor asks why the inside of my thighs are bleeding. Tell him you tried shaving before arriving at the hospital. He looks at husband and tells him that’s his job when your wife is pregnant. Pretend to be amused by his wit.
Receive an internal exam by the doctor. Get told you’re “a one in the front and zero in the back.” Don’t ask for clarification because Holy Hell that was the worst internal exam you have ever had. I think he was trying to dilate me more. Assume you’re just starting to dilate.
Ferning test negative. Wait for ultrasound tech with shaky hands to check amniotic fluid levels. Get a quick glimpse of baby’s face and note how he looks like his older brother.
Email doula while waiting for ultrasound results. Get upset (again) that she’s supposed to go out of town the next day even though she is supposed to be on call for me at this point.
Ultrasound results show good amniotic levels. Get told that the baby is probably pushing against my bladder, trapping pee, and when he or you move, the pee comes out on its own. It’s probably a one time thing, and even though it sounds embarrassing it’s a normal pregnancy symptom. The contractions you’re having definitely point to pre-labor and you could find yourself back at the hospital later that night or in a couple weeks.
Remind the doctor and nurse that the fluid leaking hasn’t been a one time thing. And the fluid looked pinkish. Get told everything is pointing to no fluid leakage, so go home and keep an eye on it.
Feel deflated. No baby.
Notice in-laws have not left the house yet. Feel sad because you could really use a nap and that won’t happen if you have to parent a child.
Announce to in-laws you’re peeing yourself.
Eat breakfast. Change underwear and pants.
Soak an overnight pad within 10 minutes. Change underwear and pants again.
Vent via The Twitter.
Vent via text.
Vent via email.
Call doula and make a plan in case labor happens while she is away.
Constantly consult Dr. Google about water breaking and peeing yourself while pregnant.
Change underwear and pants again. Announce if you’re still leaking on Monday you’re doing everything possible to get the baby out sooner rather than later.
Notice contractions are spacing out.
Go to bed with the intention of calling midwife if leakage is still happening the next day.
Notice leakage isn’t happening as often. Contractions are about every hour to hour and a half. Decide not to call midwife.
Have a couple of good contractions before bed.
Wake up to some contractions. About four in an hour and a half. Tell husband to have a good day at work and if he can get home early that would be nice. Fall asleep.
Get ready for the day. Try to interact with son, but contractions are stopping me in my tracks. All fours is a helpful position to be in. Yell at son for trying to use you as a jungle gym during this time.
Decide it would be a good idea to call midwife. Still leaking, some contractions and what feel like cramps every time baby moves. Leakage is pink and that doesn’t seem right.
Schedule an appointment for that afternoon. Call husband. Reluctantly tell him to call his parents so the could watch son and that you think it’s a good idea if he comes with you to appointment.
Kick son off the toilet because you feel like you have to poop and this is the best place for ou to be at the moment.
Realize this is exactly how labor felt when you were having your son.
Husband comes home and almost instantly contractions space out and don’t seem so intense.
Feed son lunch, give in-laws nap time instructions. Leave for midwife’s office.
Lay on exam table.
Feel huge gush and then a decent contraction.
Get told by midwife your water has definitely broken; you’re laying in a puddle.
Get tested for amniotic fluid leakage again. There’s no doubt it’s positive.
Get upset that you’ve been walking around leaking for almost three days.
Get an internal exam, which barely hurt. Get told you’re 4cm dilated and you’re having a baby.
Go home to do some re-packing, take a shower, shave without making your legs bleed, call doula, speak with back-up doula, speak with Mom.
Get excited. Email and text friends.
Kiss son goodbye and tell him this time you’re really having the baby.
Head to hospital. Again.